Business relationships are a funny thing.
When you’ve worked with someone for years, collaborated on projects, attended conferences together, or served alongside one another in professional organizations, it’s natural to develop what feels like a personal relationship. And sometimes, it genuinely is.
But here’s something I’ve learned over the years: Not everyone views the relationship the same way you do.
You may consider someone a friend or trusted colleague, while they see you primarily as a professional contact. You may reach out simply to check in, only to discover that the calls and emails tend to flow in one direction. Or perhaps you only hear from someone when they need a favor, an introduction, or assistance with an opportunity.
Sound familiar?
In construction, engineering, and really any industry, relationships are essential. We rely on them to collaborate, solve problems, share opportunities, and build successful partnerships. But relationships, like people, come in different forms, and not all of them will develop into something deeper.
In The Four Agreements, author Don Miguel Ruiz offers a powerful reminder:
“Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.”
It’s a simple statement with a valuable lesson. Someone’s responsiveness, level of engagement, or willingness to invest in a relationship isn’t necessarily a reflection of your worth or the value you bring. People have different priorities, perspectives, and expectations—and sometimes those simply don’t align with ours.
I’ve come to appreciate the importance of valuing relationships for what they are, rather than what I hope or perceive them to be.
That doesn’t mean becoming less generous, less approachable, or less willing to help others. Quite the opposite. Continue to be genuine, offer value, and treat people with respect. Just recognize when the level of investment isn’t mutual, and adjust your expectations accordingly.
After all, not every professional acquaintance needs to become a close friend, and not every business relationship needs to extend beyond the work that brought you together.
As we enter this season of Thanksgiving, I’m reminded to appreciate the relationships that have enriched my journey, whether they’ve lasted for years, opened doors, taught valuable lessons, or simply served their purpose for a season.
Invest in the relationships that are mutual, appreciate those that are professional, and find peace in knowing the difference.
Wishing you and your families a wonderful Thanksgiving.
